Monday, March 7, 2011

after 3 days...

When the sun goes down...it doesn't mean we can't walk thru the darkness night...because there is moon than make it possible....


its the third day of being officially single... and i can see that he is happier than ever..and thank God for that...at least one of us is happy...does it sound great? yeah...i admit that i'm still in pain mode...but i know...and i even had a dream that this thing will happen to me sooner or later...and indeed it is true... my house is in a mess now...i need 2 buckle up! put all the sadness in a box a keep it aside... y dun i just throw it away? hurm... that's a good Q to my own self... actually it is the only way i can keep on reminding myself to be extra careful in life...whenever i see the box...it will remind me not 2 give my feeling to others... at least for this current moment... the pain is too great for me to handle... i feel like i just wanna be alone...not talking to anyone...and do wutever i wanted to... luckily it doesn't effect my job...

all these years...i've been waiting for nothing...i know he will never come back to me...he's that type...he will never regret when he let go of something... and now that 'something' refers to me... the memories that we'd been thru...keep on bugging me...and hunting me like a hungry cat...

think positive Qis! the moon is there to help me go past the darkness!!!if not...use a torchlight!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

06 March 2011 , sekitar 4 pagi

Aku da dpt jawapan pada persoalan yg menghantui aku...

dan dengan redha aku menerima hakikat... yg die bukan utk aku...

aku xtanya dan xmendesak dan xmerayu...sebab aku tau...keadaan hati amat complex...

xguna memaksa kalo hati org da xda perasaan cinta...

skrg aku hanya akan berserah...

hidung aku xmancung...jd pipi xpayah nk sorong2...

yg aku tau skrg...aku pnt menjaga cinta..yg akhirnya hny tinggalkan hirisan luka....

yg dalam...dlm hati aku...tipu kalo aku kata aku xsedih...bkn setakat sedih...

tp pilu yg teramat sgt sakitnya...cume aku xsalahkn dia...sekali2 aku xkan salahkan dia...

aku berterima kasih dgn die sbb berterus terang...drp mbiarkan aku hidup dlm harapan yg xberpenghujung...

aku perlu tabahkan diri aku...biarlah DIA yg tentukan...sama ada aku btemu jodoh atau tidak...

yg pastinya saat ini aku belum ada kekuatan utk jd wanita yg blh tersenyum bile putus...

Friday, March 4, 2011

Come back to Online Mode ...

Alhamdulillah....aku da ada internet kt umah sendiri...and i'm happy to have one thing that can make me happy...even its just for a short while...

Sekarang nih air mata aku sng sgt nk keluar... mcm2 sgt yg aku pk...

aku rs mcm tergantung... 2 yg aku rase sekarang ni....

xde kepastian... aku tny soalan yg nyata lagi terang dan mahukan kepastian...tp jawapan yg aku teriama xde apa2 clue langsung pn... smpai aku rs sesak nafas bile pk....

Dgn usia yg da nk msk suku abad nih...aku xmo org terima aku sbb xsggup nk lukakan hati aku...tp aku nk org terima aku sbb org syg kt aku...

Aku sedar aku cpt panas hati skrg nih...dan aku sdg berusaha utk btlkn diri aku...tp aku xtau ape salah aku....ape salah aku?

Walau apepn kepastiannye...walaupun perit...aku redha...tp aku xmo hidup dgn tanda tanya...aku rs mcm badan aku xbercantum dgn kaki aku...

i'm afraid i'll be depressed...selagi aku xclear....selagi aku penuh tanda tanya....