Sunday, September 18, 2016

Never Regret of the Road you Took~

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.... lots of event happened while im away from writing here... 8th May 2016, was the day I got my precious baby Atta from his mother. Since then, im a mummy alhamdulillah. I learned a lot. Baby before mummy. Everything need to take into account on how can I do or not do it because of him. I stopped my late night or overnight hang out, I learned how to make milk from baby formula, how to dress him properly and even how to feed him, waking up several times in the middle of the night to make baby formula for my baby. I threw away my crazy little adventure to be a responsible mother. I pray that Allah will always help me going through all obstacle in raising my precious Atta. on 29th July 2016, Im officially married to my husband. The phase was fast, and for me sometimes i even forgot that im a mrs. not a ms anymore. I hope that every hardship im facing right now, will make me stronger than before. i wanna cry, but it stuck in my chest. What I need is not money. What I need is that my husband hug me silently and i can lean on his chest, and maybe only then my tears will come out from being stuck inside. I never regretted this road that I took even it feels like I've been stab countless of times. Mum told me several times that she think she don't know me anymore. i just hope that she will not hurting her head by her overthinking self. What I need is not comments, accusations, condemns, sympathy, nagging or raging. What I need is not understanding because me myself don't even understand me. What I need is just a silent hug, along this road that I took. I love myself, my husband, my son, my mum, my sister and my family.

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